P o w e r . o f . G u e r n i c a

Last night I watched Simon Schama's show called 'Power of Art' - Picasso, on Public TV. It's an examination of Pablo Picasso's “Guernica,” a giant mural inspired by the 1937 Nazi bombing of the village of Guernica during the Spanish Civil War. Just when he had completed this work, critics and viewers gave a lurk-warm opinion about it as the work was a combination of images from his personal anguishes even when it was a strong political response to the killings by general Franco. The crying women and children, agonizing horse head, minotaur and all the rest of his signature images combine in this stark and stylistic work(20 ft. long). The pyramid composition is to show the abuse of power over the innocent. The light is not used as in impressionist works, but like in Goya's execution painting where the bright yellow lantern is right in front of the victim. The source of light shows excessive power over the weak. Picasso depicts the single bulb hanging on the top center of the work like in an interrogation room. The most interesting observation in the PBS show was that, in 2003 at the time of the crucial historic presentation in the UN by Collin Powell to justify Iraq war, there was a large print of Guernica(same size?) on the wall behind was told to be covered by a blue cloth. Somebody did not feel the presence of it appropriate!

e l e v a t o r . e n t r a n c e

escalators take us to the upper level.
some stand still as they are not in a hurry
many walk up and others even run up the stairs!
faster or slower, all will reach up there eventually.

an entrance to the upper level does not guarantee anything
as nothing is permanent and everything is transient in nature,
we have the choice of moving further up or down from there;
by walking slower or faster, or even by standing still...

photo: 'escalator-entrance to the river-walk' /New Orleans /Louisiana /June2007©sebastian

v i s i o n a r i e s

It is ironic that the word television has 'vision' in it. Rather it creates a 'Tunnel Vision'(TV) for the most part, as it is like a mere puppet show of many vested interests. It is an expensive and complex medium like cinema, thus profit oriented and market driven. TV has grown into a medium of distraction and distortion instead of providing any 'vision' of the real truth. Any moving image invites attention. It creates a virtual reality in our mind which is far removed from the daily reality. After all, perception is more real for us than the reality out there. The secret is that the perceived reality manifests eventually. So if an apocalyptic vision gets prominence on a daily basis in the media, then that does permeate into the individual and collective psyche, and that is what we can expect to happen; unless a new group of optimistic leaders with grand vision appear out of the blue and start paying attention to all the positive things still exist in this planet.

An utopian thinking!?

Anything is possible;

after all, history rhymes with mystery.

photo: jfk airport/new york /2007©sebastian

i p h o n e . m e s s e n g e r s

mobile phone is an important invention of our times, like the radio and tv. new cell phone from apple computer is an amazing device. it is a cell phone, music player, internet device, camera and much more, rolled in one. the 'complete enchilada' of communication. the 'sarcastics' say it has a hidden washing machine inside!

in spite of all the exaggerations of features this phone has, it looks like capable of making all the existing cell phone companies to feel the uncomfortable knots in their throat chakras for coming months. now they have to step up. but look how addicted we are to a new gadget that claims to improve our lives further! people hate the product or they love it. either way it is in their mind-scape. that is what communication means now. create a marketing hype. sensation sells.

media is for communication. culture thrives with more dialogues. african tribes used drumming for communication across the distant plains and deserts. one drummer on a mountain top to another, far away. the messages of farming, war and love were communicated with precision. i do not know whether they still use it. may be iphones replaced the drums. communication is improving for sure; or are we communicating enough, really? if so, what are we trying to say each other?

does the ultimate communication through silence(!)

what mystic-masters talked about, has a chance now?

one could only wonder...
___________________________
" sorry, did I wake you up? "
" can you call me back ? "
" stop interrupting, let me talk "
" I am hanging up "
" wait, you listen to me "
" did you hear about..."
" shut up "
" this one time, when I was..."
" you are breaking up "

" leave a message at the tone"
" oh! my god...can you believe it..."
" I can not talk, I am driving..."
" can you hear me now ? "
" are you there ? "
" you gone ? "
" sorry, got cut off,
so then what happened? "

"oh, nothing...

let me go..."
___________________
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid271543545/bclid428890160/bctid422563006

photo collage: 'iphone & distant drumming' 2007©sebastian

C o l o n y . C o l l a p s e . D i s o r d e r

'Colony collapse disorder' sounds very natural. It is another name for the extinction of honey bees; a recent trend it seems. Is that a big deal? it can be. Bees are responsible for pollination among plants. Honey, may be we can live without. We could be facing the scarcity of fruits and vegetables if bees disappear. Why is it happening? cell phone signals are confusing their communication system, global warming, sun's rays are changing, more urbanization, all of the above and much more. Are we surprised? no, it can be just another random occurrence in the planet, y'all.

photo: 'missing bees' 2007©sebastian

p r e m e d i t a t i o n

'now' slips away when

one projects mind into the future continuously.
if premeditation becomes ones habit,
it is harder to get into meditation.

photo: 'premeditation' 2007©sebastian

d a r k n e s s . s w i t c h

Switches are there to turn on the light.
But not one to turn on the darkness.
We just do not turn the switch on.

Darkness does not exist anywhere,

as it is just the absence of light.

Many face muscles move when we smile,
may be the same ones are used when we cry.

Even a grouch needs frown muscles!

But no muscles are needed to be indifferent.

watercolour: 'open switch'/sebastian©2007

a u t o . p i l o t

it is difficult to observe my mind each moment
and listen to my thoughts one after another.
when i am not doing some concentrated work,
thoughts are all over the place, so fast and random.
mind just jumps from one thought to another.
it is just a hit and miss if i can track them at times.

i fall short on observing my emotions and reactions.
so after a while, i give up to work or to distractions
thinking that there is no point in stressing about it,
and not to go so hard on myself and i just surrender.

so the 'auto pilot' takes over.
then by evening i hear myself asking,
where did the day go?
what did i do and how did it all happen?

e l e c t r i c . c a r

watched the documentary called 'who killed the electric car?"
-very interesting.
what I thought was electric cars are not practical because of their slow speed, long recharging time, shorter battery life, smaller size and high price...
_______________________________
following is an excerpt from PBS show called "now" about the movie.

"the film looks at the hopeful birth and untimely death of the electric car, an environmentally-friendly, cost-saving salvation to some, but a profit barrier to others. in a film that has all the elements of a murder mystery, paine points the finger at car companies, the oil industry, bad ad campaigns, consumer wariness, and a lack of commitment from the u.s. government.

"[the film] is about why the only kind of cars that we can drive run on oil. and for a while there was a terrific alternative, a pure electric car," paine said(director)about contrast !!!

____________________________________

-electric car does not have internal combustion engine,

(car industry and the infrastructure makes more money by selling and repairing parts -no wonder marketing guys are not interested in plug-ins)

-80% of Americans drive less than 50 miles per day.

-today's batteries can take EVs 300 miles on a single charge.

-a Plug-in Toyota Prius can easily average 125 mpg.

-EVs are cleaner than gas, E85, biodiesel, & fuel cells.

-EVs use 3-4 times LESS energy than hydrogen fuel cell cars.

-converting to plug-in cars does not require building new coal or nuclear power plants

-oil industry and the car companies can kill a good product and people will not respond!

-the true information can be blocked by media this effectively.

-even when electricity needs fuel like coal to produce, there are wind, solar and other alternative sources.

plugging the car during late night(4-5hrs) when the grid is relaxed,

like my cell phone, and driving during the day sounds perfect!

some sites with info on this:
http://www.pluginamerica.com/
http://www.electrifyingtimes.com/rav4_ev_click_click.html

so how messed-up is the indian's urge for the "american" model life style
with everyone busy buying petrol cars and such? (same in china too)

only indian electric car available now(not very impressive one -really tiny)
www.revaindia.com
______________________________

this is one great EVcar (but recalled by Toyota!!!)

Toyota RAV4 EV
With the looks and style of our popular SUV, the RAV4 EV is a roomy, practical vehicle with a 827-lb. payload and over 125 miles on one charge. Charge it overnight and with standard ABS, air conditioning and a 78-mph top speed, it was one advanced car for 2001! battery technology is much more advanced now!

s h i f t i n g . c l o u d s

clouds have started howering over texas
now a days they are spreading everywhere
shifting into many different shapes and forms
they are unusual and do not go away easily
unpredictable, unpleasent, dark and dramatic
it has become a daily headache for all the 'decent' people
incidently, morning news has pointed out that
the state administration is taking this seriously...



photo: 'shifting clouds' /2007©sebastian

h i g h . r i s e

this high rise does not exist any more. it was demolished may be because of some structural problems. it disappeared right in front of my eyes as i was photographing. wrecking balls worked like *locusts over a green farm land. places just disappear sometimes right in front of us. next morning we are in a totally different space. just memories remain.


*locusts: they are big, winged grasshoppers two to three inches long. locusts move with the heating of the air in the morning; rise and ride on the thermals, and descend late in the afternoon when the heat dissipates. they are at the mercy of the wind, and are a cloud of winged insects. they land where the wind carries them; if they are lucky enough to land in some greenery like this in town or in the oasis, they can strip it in a few hours.


photo: 'high rise' /2007©sebastian

p e n d u l u m

wrecking ball is used for demolition.
it swings like the pendulum of an old clock.

seconds drip away into eternity. time is a mystery.
we think that past and future are loose ends of a string,
and try to tie them together, meanwhile the present blinks away.
tomorrow melts into yesterday like in a dalian space,
leaving the 'persistence of memory' in our minds eye...

everything is changing into something else.
moment by moment. all is alive.
only 'now' is real. here. now. today.


photo: 'pendulum' /2007©sebastian

t i m e: - a y m a r a n ' s . v i e w

there is evidence that speakers of aymara, an indian language of the high andes, think of time differently than just about everyone else in the world. they see the future as behind them and the past ahead of them. this is a truly mind-bending idea.
most of us describe the future as ahead or in front of us, and the past as behind us. until the view of the aymara speakers was deconstructed, no significant exceptions to this way of thinking about time had been demonstrated.

but the aymara call the future 'qhipa pacha/timpu', meaning back or behind time, and the past 'nayra pacha/timpu', meaning front time. and they gesture ahead of them when remembering things past, and backward when talking about the future. these are not mere mannerisms, the researchers argue; they are windows into the minds of aymara speakers, who have a conception of future and past that is different from just about everyone else's. the authors say the aymara speakers see the difference between what is known and not known as paramount, and what is known is what you see in front of you, with your own eyes.

THE PAST IS KNOWN, SO IT LIES AHEAD OF YOU.
(nayra, or "past," literally means eye and sight, as well as front.)
THE FUTURE IS UNKNOWN, SO IT LIES BEHIND YOU, WHERE YOU CAN'T SEE.

human liner time is a mind-construct. then there is the organic rhythm in nature which is the circular time.
but when we're one with it, its a 'no mind ' state where there is no time at all.

reference: New York Times - science /June/2006
The Aymara people have existed in the Andes in what is now Bolivia (and, to a lesser extent, Peru) for over 2,000 years, according to some estimates. Some scholars, and many Aymara themselves, associate them with the highly advanced civilization centered at Tiwanaku, though due to the lack of written history this cannot be proven conclusively, and does not fit with the linguistic evidence.

i c a r u s . f a l l i n g

my grandmother used to tell the story of a man who tried to fly using two large "murams" (these are large square frames made of tropical cactus-like leaves usually seen in the malabar coast, south india)as the legend goes, the man with these "muram" wings jumped off from a cliff and died. earlier also he had tried this flying experiments from less higher places, as he was obsessed with it.

similarly in the story of icarus in greek mythology,

daedalus and his son icarus were imprisoned inside a massive labyrinth in crete. the father made them each a pair of wings, and with these they were able to escape. daedalus warned his son, “don’t fly too high or the sun will melt the wax on your wings 

and you will fall. follow me closely. do not set your own course.” but icarus became so exhilarated by his ability to fly, he forgot the warning and followed his own course instead. he flew too high, the wax melted, and icarus fell down into the sea and drowned. 

man and his fate of fall is an enigma. what is the element inside us that works against ourselves? what is the factor that pushes us to go beyond our natural being? is it desirable? on the other hand, without that almost self destructive gene how can humanity break new grounds and progress? the ego of icarus made him forget about the consequence of his father's warning. on the other hand, it poses the question that whether the young icarus had another choice, as the young blood does what it is designed to do. word of wisdom from the experienced was discarded as it was considered as a weakness and an excuse not to take any risk in life.

photo collage: "flying man" /2007©sebastian

c a t h e d r a l s

even if modern cathedrals like high rises, elevators
and other new urban designs are more utilitarian in concept,
some of them are real architectural marvels i think;
at the same time melancholic compared to an old cathedral.

photo: elevator /dfw airport /2007©sebastian
________________________________________________
Rouen Cathedral is located west by northwest of Paris. He painted more than thirty works of Rouen Cathedral. Monet creates a whole new way to look at the front elevation. His subject was light more than anything. He painted during different seasons and different times of day, allowing him to create many unique paintings of the same place.


ref: google images /Rouen Cathedral: Full Sunlight, 1894 Claude Monet

ps: I remember in the fall of 1993 when I stepped into New York Metropolitan's Monet room, how excited I was and how long I stared at his works. I could smell his cigar just above my shoulders as if he was standing close to me. The painted surface brought me in such a strong presence of the artist. Now whenever I see a four color print of monet around a shopping mall or so, I feel the originals are being devalued. Monet is not there on a print. But at the same time it takes away something from the originals when a print is just hanging over a mundane furniture store. My point is, over saturation of these prints of the masters makes me desensitized towards impressionism. May be that is what time does.

d o o r . w i t h i n . t h e . d o o r

there is an unseen door within every door
and there is an unnamable self within oneself
there is a still body within this moving body
and everybody will find their own silence within.
all the waves are more than just water
for the sea carries an ocean inside.
and by the way, it is possible that
a salamander may be hiding within every crocodile!

photo: "door within" ©sebastian.2007

a t . t h e . c o u n t e r

the world inside is recreated outside
for the word inside is acted upon.
a mold inside is to be broken
to pull out the sting and get over it.


photo: 'at the counter' /dfw airport /summer of 2007©sebastian

b a l a n c e

greeks never had obituaries describing the greatness of the dead.
they asked whether the person had a 'passion' when s/he was alive.
it really doesn't matter what we do, art or non-art;
as long as we do it with awareness of our whole being
whether it is singing, dancing or doing dishes
or just floating in the water like a buffalo
with a bird balanced on its head!


photo: 'buffalo balance' india/ 2007©sebastian

r o c k s & t r e e s

i am not a tree hugger
but i like them to be around
i am not very much into rocks either
but their mighty presence everywhere,
the weather-beaten texture and deep colors,
and the sculptural form of them, is intriguing
their straightforwardness is fascinating.

i am not into anything unusual if you ask me,
but some things are not that usual
when we look at them one more time;
which makes me wonder about
our accepted ways of seeing...


photo: ©2007.sebastian

m a n y . p a t h s

coincidences are random occurrences of events.
but are they really random incidents as we think ?
there is a pattern in which these events happen

especially when we are in the presence of certain people

or at particular places at a certain time.
why am i feeling a certain space so familiar,

including the things there in detail,

as if i was there in the past even when i haven't in reality?

is 'DeJa-Vu' real, or just being delutional?
was i supposed to bump into that perfect stranger?
why is this particular person still in my daily life?
other one you are attracted to at the first glance,
just disappears around the corner, forever.

if everything is predestined to happen, where is the free will?
what are the invisible forces here working beyond our perception?
destiny or free will; which is at function here? or are both real?
is there more than one path we take simultaneously in this life?
are we really going anywhere? who is the traveller here?

or can we do things on autopilot with a 'just do it' attitude,
with a world view of 'go with the flow, go with our instincts'
without being bothered by any of these questions?
may be this too is not a choice, but destiny!



photo montage: 'paths' ©2007.sebastian

t o u c h

heavy-handedness will not work on
the strings with tuned tension...





photo: 'the touch' ©2007.sebastian

w a n i n g . c a b b a g e

cutting red cabbage to cook
waning of the april moon
the finger pointing towards it
wisdom of the red cabbage


photo: 'waning cabbage' /©2007.sebastian

b r e a t h e . i n . b r e a t h e . o u t

breathe in, breathe out

the new exhibit at decorazon gallery, oak cliff, texas, titled ‘breathe in, breathe out’
of my friends ali akbar and sara cardona is a remarkable one.

exploring both large and small scale paintings, ali akbar, utilizes texture a lot. its the toil of excavation he is into. i like his works very much because he kind of pushes his limit as an inventor and struggles through it. one can feel the result at the time of his journey. the end result is many poetic surfaces. i love the piece called the 'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas. here he has recreated the residual memories of southine's painterliness and his distant presence as a unique artist and at the same time a minimal take on the subject to show a new interpretation is possible.
ali is a native of dhaka, bangladesh, and has exhibited extensively in his homeland as well as in the united states. he is a graduate of southeastern oklahoma state university and dhaka university, and recently attended a fellowship residency program at the vermont studio center.

'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas


sara cardona is an artist who reminds me of a lovable frida khalo who does collages.
in both collage and painting, sara develops portraits of characters from fiction, theater, and history. utilizing embroidery, craft material associated with theater, and a poetic sensibility, a multitude of personas are created, each with a possible narrative. sara cardona is a graduate of the univ. of texas in austin and has an mfa from the tyler school of art in philadelphia, pa.

Margarita - Mixed media on paper

both artists currently reside in dallas, texas.

s p i r i t . v a l l e y

when the sun floods into the valley and above
blades of grass blaze like red hot swords
dust in front sparkles at times like fireflies
the aura around the trees wash them layer by layer
spaced out between the rising sun and valley’s edge
trees stand out like pillars of fire along the ridge
space far away glows outside the depth of field
forms show up as color blobs with blurry contours
move in and out of focus, intersect and reconstruct
the colors move up and down, slow and smoky
and the adjoined edges become curvy and cozy
all fuse into one complete whole and slowly dissolve
morning passes soon to the mundane of the noon.

______________________________________________
all the death and destruction humans bring on themselves
prove 'loving compassion' remains as the most relevant value
which is still the answer to reduce human suffering.

"certain pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is optional"

photo collage: ©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p e o p l e

in harry potter stories there are characters living under water like mermaids and such. as it is a fantasy tale, the imagination is limitless. but in real life, i think there are people with fluid inner landscape like water, because they grew up in places like backwaters, islands, and other water front areas. such people are more adaptable to new situations as they are used to everything that is fluid and temporaray. this makes them more competitive and resilient. but they could be unstable and more insecure also, which will reflect in their relationships and choices they make. i think the landscape one assimilates in an earlier age becomes the natural terrain-base for one’s mindscape.

is a desert person similar to a water person but more dry and tough? will a mountain person have better stability like a mountain? but is it difficult for a mountain person to adapt to change? is a jungle person similar to a mountain person?

now, in our modern urban places, each city creates its own psyche, i think. but in general, a person who grew up in a typical crowded city will not have the same connectedness to ones immediate environment as others. city-life is so mobile and almost as fluid as the ‘water’ life, but with more anonymity and with a kind of (false?)secure feeling most of the time.


photo: 'water psyche' /lake ray roberts.texas /©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p i t c h e r

weather channel has predicted thunderstorms,
rain and possible tornados for the evening.
it is slowly getting dark outside and i can feel
a silent tension in the stillness of the trees.
and by the evening,
nothing happened, slowly the air cleared up,
sun shined through and the bright yellow light
torched the western slops of the maple trees.
the stillness of the sap green leaves showed
an ecstatic presence of the 'now'

then i noticed in front of me,
the contour of the water pitcher on the table
has a transparent nothingness around it!
the highlight on its edges is incredibly silent.
the pitcher is just there on the table, still as it is;
in its mundane presence as a concrete object,
exits with its wholeness and completeness.


photo: 'water pitcher as it is' /©2007.sebastian

v i e w s

one:

the planet is warming up. there is a war going on. people hate each other. children are dying. left hand is getting chopped by ourown right hand. everything is doomed. life is going to be over soon. we are using modern science in the wrong way. we are destroying the planet. who is going to turn all these around? where is the savior? don’t we have to do something right now?

two:

this had happened before too. what about the world wars one and two? how about the plague that killed millions? many other atrocities in history had killed a lot of people. what happened to dinosaurs? don’t we have better medicines now? we are knowing about all these in real-time all over the world. that is why it is disturbing. do not pay attention to media news. out of sight, out of mind. see? it is not there anymore.

three:

god does all these. just trust him. but believe only in my god. he is the real one. other’s god is fake. they are lost in darkness. i need to tell them this and make them bring back to my god by using all my powers. this is my duty. i am the messenger and the warrior of god.

four:

eat, drink and be merry. for tomorrow we may die. everyone is lying. only truth is sensual pleasures. enjoy when you can. do whatever makes you happy. who cares about the consequences? all will die anyway.

five:

nothing is happening as such. everything is a dance of molecules. everything changes into something else. energy is changing into matter. or matter and energy are the same in time. space and time exists relatively. we humans are limited to our sensory perception. but there is the rest of the reality which we do not feel or know.

there are more frames of references and many various permutations of all of the above mentioned views...

if there is an absolute truth about life on this planet, it has to be beyond all points of views, which integrates, encompasses and transcends all these verbalizations.

“everything out there is wholesome and complete
everything in here is also wholesome and complete
the whole emerges out of the whole
if we take away the whole from the whole,
remaining will also will be wholesome and complete.”

-upanishad

photo collage: 'half empty-half full' ' ©2007.sebastian

m i s t y

the flame still shimmers
lights the sky inside a bit
wind swirls high above
the valley turns misty
i see a bus in a distance


photo: lovedale valley, ooty, india /©2006.sebastian

d o u b t s

saw a movie called 'secrets'.
its a kind of 'new age'y, but
the message has some truth in it.
when we are focused on the positive,
and work consistently towards a goal,
the whole system synchronizes with us.
if one doubts about this universal truth,
that doubt will get more attention
and it works as a resistance.
(“what resists will persist” -carl jung.)
even when one wants good things to happen,
more attention is given to the negative.
anything one gives attention to, will grow.
so the obstacles start showing up and
it strengthens the doubts further more.
then the mind gets attached to it
and even when good things happen,
one is not comfortable accepting it.
soon this becomes a habit pattern.
egoic mind has many devices like these
to bring more misery and suffering.

photo: paddy fields in china(download)

r e l a t i o n s h i p

relation’ship’ sets out its journey
with a lot of high expectations.
it enters high waves of the rough seas
and even explores uncharted waters.
it is a pleasure trip and a ghost ship at once.
it reveals some demons and exorcises some,
and along the way creates some too.
relationship helps mirror each other.
it reflects the good, the bad and the ugly.
then the other gets blamed most of the time,
for showing the grotesque unexpectedly;
in reality, it was already there before.
but without in 'relation' to this old ‘ship’,
the journey does not exist at all.

photo: 'the journey' /2007©sebastian

w h i t e . n o i s e

if everyone could sit somewhere still,
take a deep breath, relax and do nothing,
lot of balance will happen in a natural way.
i know people who need some background noise
to feel relaxed. some can not sleep without
the 'white noise' of blank tv on, in the bedroom.
some hate silence when others love it.
what an interesting contradiction it is!
most of our daily activites are just to
create a distraction from facing ourselves.

photo: pebbles /sebastian©2007

r i v e r . p a l u x y

this is the view of paluxy river, texas. it runs through dinosaur Valley, a 1600 acre national forest. the excavations proved that there were real dinosaurs here. obviously they found the fossils and such. the arial view of this small river is simple and serene and it almost has the similar feel of chakki river in himachal pradesh, india. the soil and the color and texture of rocks feel the same and the landscape around is similar too. missing element is the distant view of the mountain range which is not there in texas. years ago, i remember one afternoon, seeing a group of vultures devouring the body of a cow in the banks of chakki finishing it within minutes up-to its bones and flying away quickly. it was a surreal scene. there were a lot of vultures around during that fall season. chakki drains the south-western part of himachal pradesh. the river rises as a small snow-fed and rain fed stream from the southern slopes of the dhauladhar himalayan range. it enters punjab near pathankot and joins the beas river.


photo: paluxy river, dinosaur Valley, texas / ©2007.sebastian

r i v e r . b e d

the river bed. richness of the delta.
smell of wet soil after the first rain.
this memory is embedded in us for centuries.
a farmer in oklahoma or in india feels
the same pulse of the basic elements.
but urban life has changed too much that
many of us are far removed from a chance to feel the soil.
one does not connect with it now, if at all one touches it.
subtle cell memories from centuries are not evoked
as we are removed from our basic elements.
children playing in the mud is very rare today.
we have an insulated life with daily routines,
which makes us less imaginative, i think.

photo: 'river bed' /texas/ ©2007.sebastian

i t c h . s l i t

snake song

i am itching for a new skin today
and i can feel the old one slacking off...
i see many around with smooth and silky ones
and i feel its time for me to have a new one.
all i need is a narrow slit to slither through
or a sharp edge to hook on the old skin to...
i am sure i can find one around the corner.
there is enough edginess out there;
if you know what i mean.

photo: 'four pillars' ©2007.sebastian

f i r s t . f l o w e r

the first flower

millions of years ago,
one ordinary morning,
the planet felt so bored and
arrived at a 'now what?' moment
'i am going to bloom in the next spin!'
she thought, and did exactly that;
with an explosion of vibrant colors
the whole planet was enlightened!


photo: 'lotus of ooty' /india/©2006.sebastian

p e r s p e c t i v e

angle, aspect, broad view, context, mindset, attitude, mindtrip, objectivity, outlook, overview, panorama, proportion, prospect, relation, objective perception, relative importance, relativity, scape, scene, viewpoint, vista.

photo: "human-made lakes" ©2007.sebastian

b o d h i . t r e e

this is a peepal tree i noticed on the way to mysore from kerala, india. even when there is no breeze, its beautiful leaves spin and attract your attention and invite you into the shade. and not only do the leaves send down currents of cool air, but their long slender tips are also constantly striking together to make a sound like the pattering of raindrops. best place to sit under and contemplate. no other tree has a leaf which tapers to such a perfect point as the peepal. when it rains, you can see the water drip from the points. water runs off more easily from a point than from a blunt end, and the sooner a leaf dries the better it is for the tree. to cut a peepal tree was once looked upon as a great sin in india. on the other hand, anyone who planted a peepal was said to receive the blessings of generations to come.

photo: india.sebastian©2007

r a p t u r e

is this the day of the so called 'rapture' ?
sky is coming down like a wet blanket.
clouds are clashing and the wind is roaring loud
dust spreads into the plains like an angry mob
smell of burning sulphur is in the air
darkness flows into the valley like black lava.
is everything going to be crumbled down?
is this the dark night of the soul?



photo:- sebastian©2007

e n e r g y . m a t t e r s

once a friend showed me how matter is
transformed into energy by drinking a glass of water
"matter became energy", he said.
but, does this knowledge and information
on matter or energy matter? it may, i guess.
but i liked his simple way of presenting it.
materiality is ‘reality of the matter’
synergy is ‘synchronization of energy’

now, all the seriousness of life aside,
here is a joke i heard over the radio:
what did the elephant said to the naked man?
"its cute and all,
but can you breath through that thing?"

l a y e r s

watched the documentary called ‘the inconvenient truth’.
this is about global warming and how human intervention like greenhouse gas emission is screwing up our planet life. impressive presentation by former vise president al gore. in one scene it showed that scientists can find out the exact temperature, the air quality and such of each year in the past, by analyzing the layers of arctic ice which is frozen for centuries. just like going back in time. similar to carbon 14 test on the fossils. like studying the circles of the ‘year rings’ we see in the cross section of an old tree trunk. these 're embedded secret codes. very interesting.
that reminded me of the different layers of our mind. pain and pleasure memories. the imprints they leave in our brain. the scars of childhood abandonment every one talks about. memories of shame and victimizations. pleasant ones as well. anything that made a deep impact; we are that. all our analysis and judgments are colored by those layers. like an eye can not see the same eye through which one looks, we can not see them clrealy; or can we, if we develop some new faculties?
when i got my name at first and from the moment i started attaching my ‘self’ to it, these layers got started building up. memories, recreated identifications and the ‘identity’ and ‘personality’ that i have built up, thinking that,
‘i am this, i am that, i am a son, a student, a man, and so on...”
and still keep adding by filling my’self’ with something more.
but am i just any of these; limiting myself by just naming myself?
or am i all these and at the same time, something beyond?
WHO AM I REALLY?


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photo: 'fossile' / north texas /sebastian©2007

f e a r . o f . f l y i n g

i am always afraid of flying. it doesn’t feel right.
Penetrating the sky in a heavy aluminum tube sounds eerie.
not as simple as an earthworm’s journey under the soil.
it takes some time for me to be comfortable in my seat.
i transport myself into one of dali' s paintings sometimes,
and just trust the technology and believe in the unknown.

i remember my early flying experiences.
the magical memory of flying over mount renoir
the surreal castles of clouds near and far, up and down,
i remember vividly, flying over arabian sands, distant oasises,
waves of dry mountains and the endless blue of the pacific,
once, in london seeing the rain over the buckingham palace.
a shrap memory of a tiny cruiser blazing across the atlantic blue.
my first flight over manhattan was on a saturday night years ago
and it felt like i was in the movie ‘blade runner’
i like the window seat and its coziness
clouds dance deep down in a different time lapse,
i can see the dusty wind over the vast plains,
and the dreamy mist over the mississippi delta
visuals fill my face with high spirit and warmth
i am always afraid of flying, but i kind of love it...

i think we all get this humble feeling of smallness,
when we look down at humans, my own species,
totally lost between the foldings down below, restless like ants,
our wars, petty problems and conflicts...love, as well...
in a way, flying changes one's perspective for ever.
i am always afraid of flying, then agian, who isn't?

a l c h e m i s t

i took this picture in karnataka, india. i was moved by the similarity of the scene to the premise of the book 'the alchemist' by the brazilian novelist, paulo coelho. it is the story of santiago, a young shepherd. in his magical journey in search of a treasure, from spain to egyptian desert, he meets this alchemist and the story goes on with the journey...
a beautiful book. small but an intimate story about destiny, love and the meaning of it all.

interestingly enough, the copy of the book, which i got from the local library, had a hand written note from a previous reader.
its mysterious to get a message in a book.. it carries a mild melancholy and sense of loss too because one always likes to meet a person like that but misses the chance...

the note read like this;
"the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream because every second of the search is an encounter with god and destiny. the closer one gets to realizing his destiny, the more that destiny becomes his true reason for living."

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photo: "santiago in india" karnataka, india / dec. 2006©sebastian

w e t . l i g h t

street. red light. stop.
rain. stop. fog light. breath.
think. dream. cloudy thoughts.
fog. wet light. stop. think.
wet street. light. reflect.
cloudy street. wet sky. stop.
slippery. stop. wet air. red light.
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photo: "wet street" /texas.sebastian©2006

l a r g e s t . p i c t u r e

people with integrity, naturally help to integrate;
ideas, situations, people encounters and conflicts.
one who has a split inside, accepts and rejects at the same time,
fragmented inside, causes disintegration;
likes to create chaos. inside manifests outside.

wise says, seeing the LARGER PICTURE,
both sides balance ultimately;
the whole thing is just a play.
but the PICTURE has to be really large, i guess,
the maximum possible one can imagine!
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photo: "the middle path" - floating buffalos
way to mysore, india /dec.2006©sebastian

s i s y p h u s . f i s h i n g

i saw a man fishing at the lake last sunday. as i was watching, he got a fairly big fish. he released it from the hook and let it go back to the lake at once. i realized that his way of fishing was just symbolic. 'fishing for fishing's sake'! he was not a serious fisherman, but a compassionate one!

but the young fish had a traumatic experience for a couple of minutes, which had made an imprint in its brain. a near death experience! rest of its life was going to be affected by it. its arousal mechanism was burned out by the extreme nature of this trauma. the threshold was crossed and the pleasure center had been affected by this. now on, it had to re-enact the same scenario to feel any pleasure again. seeds of attraction towards the ‘bad and the reckless’ behavior were planted. thus the possibility of one more aspiring 'misfit fish' was established.

for the man this was a time to get away from his household duties and sit in quietude with his beer and contemplate the whole morning. once in a while to break the silence, a fish will eat the bait for him to act upon and get into a moment of mild excitement. again he goes back to the stillness of the lake and the silence of the morning.

anything man does has a futility embedded in it. as death is real and life seems to be very short, humans do a lot of things to make some sense out of this absurdity; to be relevant. in the myth of sisyphus, as a punishment for his bad deeds, sisyphus is forced to roll a block of stone against a steep hill, which tumbles back down when he reaches the top. then the whole process starts again, lasting all eternity. his punishment was depicted on many Greek vases. he is represented as a naked man, or wearing a fur over his shoulders, pushing a boulder. interestingly enough, there is this exact legend in kerala(south india) folklore, the 'crazy naranath' does the same thing not as a curse, but as a daily routine. he laughs his hearts off as the stone tumbles down the hill! he does the same over again. here it is a funny thing he does to show the absurdity of all human endeavors. in another story, when the goddess kali appeared before naranath and asked for a wish, he said that if she was very particular about granting one, she could transfer the elephantitis on his left leg to the right one! dispassion of an absolutist!

photo: lake ray roberts / texas/ sebastian©2007

r e d . b e n c h

the red bench had a tall cement fence behind it.
cement chairs at indian rail-stations have long history.
the fence is conceptual and rather symbolic so to speak.
it is broken many places before the gate where you can get in and out.
like the gate of mulla nasaruddhin without the walls around it.
apparently indian railway has a sense of zen, I guess.

photo: tirur railway station, kerala, india. dec.sebastian©2006