r o c k s & t r e e s

i am not a tree hugger
but i like them to be around
i am not very much into rocks either
but their mighty presence everywhere,
the weather-beaten texture and deep colors,
and the sculptural form of them, is intriguing
their straightforwardness is fascinating.

i am not into anything unusual if you ask me,
but some things are not that usual
when we look at them one more time;
which makes me wonder about
our accepted ways of seeing...


photo: ©2007.sebastian

m a n y . p a t h s

coincidences are random occurrences of events.
but are they really random incidents as we think ?
there is a pattern in which these events happen

especially when we are in the presence of certain people

or at particular places at a certain time.
why am i feeling a certain space so familiar,

including the things there in detail,

as if i was there in the past even when i haven't in reality?

is 'DeJa-Vu' real, or just being delutional?
was i supposed to bump into that perfect stranger?
why is this particular person still in my daily life?
other one you are attracted to at the first glance,
just disappears around the corner, forever.

if everything is predestined to happen, where is the free will?
what are the invisible forces here working beyond our perception?
destiny or free will; which is at function here? or are both real?
is there more than one path we take simultaneously in this life?
are we really going anywhere? who is the traveller here?

or can we do things on autopilot with a 'just do it' attitude,
with a world view of 'go with the flow, go with our instincts'
without being bothered by any of these questions?
may be this too is not a choice, but destiny!



photo montage: 'paths' ©2007.sebastian

t o u c h

heavy-handedness will not work on
the strings with tuned tension...





photo: 'the touch' ©2007.sebastian

w a n i n g . c a b b a g e

cutting red cabbage to cook
waning of the april moon
the finger pointing towards it
wisdom of the red cabbage


photo: 'waning cabbage' /©2007.sebastian

b r e a t h e . i n . b r e a t h e . o u t

breathe in, breathe out

the new exhibit at decorazon gallery, oak cliff, texas, titled ‘breathe in, breathe out’
of my friends ali akbar and sara cardona is a remarkable one.

exploring both large and small scale paintings, ali akbar, utilizes texture a lot. its the toil of excavation he is into. i like his works very much because he kind of pushes his limit as an inventor and struggles through it. one can feel the result at the time of his journey. the end result is many poetic surfaces. i love the piece called the 'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas. here he has recreated the residual memories of southine's painterliness and his distant presence as a unique artist and at the same time a minimal take on the subject to show a new interpretation is possible.
ali is a native of dhaka, bangladesh, and has exhibited extensively in his homeland as well as in the united states. he is a graduate of southeastern oklahoma state university and dhaka university, and recently attended a fellowship residency program at the vermont studio center.

'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas


sara cardona is an artist who reminds me of a lovable frida khalo who does collages.
in both collage and painting, sara develops portraits of characters from fiction, theater, and history. utilizing embroidery, craft material associated with theater, and a poetic sensibility, a multitude of personas are created, each with a possible narrative. sara cardona is a graduate of the univ. of texas in austin and has an mfa from the tyler school of art in philadelphia, pa.

Margarita - Mixed media on paper

both artists currently reside in dallas, texas.

s p i r i t . v a l l e y

when the sun floods into the valley and above
blades of grass blaze like red hot swords
dust in front sparkles at times like fireflies
the aura around the trees wash them layer by layer
spaced out between the rising sun and valley’s edge
trees stand out like pillars of fire along the ridge
space far away glows outside the depth of field
forms show up as color blobs with blurry contours
move in and out of focus, intersect and reconstruct
the colors move up and down, slow and smoky
and the adjoined edges become curvy and cozy
all fuse into one complete whole and slowly dissolve
morning passes soon to the mundane of the noon.

______________________________________________
all the death and destruction humans bring on themselves
prove 'loving compassion' remains as the most relevant value
which is still the answer to reduce human suffering.

"certain pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is optional"

photo collage: ©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p e o p l e

in harry potter stories there are characters living under water like mermaids and such. as it is a fantasy tale, the imagination is limitless. but in real life, i think there are people with fluid inner landscape like water, because they grew up in places like backwaters, islands, and other water front areas. such people are more adaptable to new situations as they are used to everything that is fluid and temporaray. this makes them more competitive and resilient. but they could be unstable and more insecure also, which will reflect in their relationships and choices they make. i think the landscape one assimilates in an earlier age becomes the natural terrain-base for one’s mindscape.

is a desert person similar to a water person but more dry and tough? will a mountain person have better stability like a mountain? but is it difficult for a mountain person to adapt to change? is a jungle person similar to a mountain person?

now, in our modern urban places, each city creates its own psyche, i think. but in general, a person who grew up in a typical crowded city will not have the same connectedness to ones immediate environment as others. city-life is so mobile and almost as fluid as the ‘water’ life, but with more anonymity and with a kind of (false?)secure feeling most of the time.


photo: 'water psyche' /lake ray roberts.texas /©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p i t c h e r

weather channel has predicted thunderstorms,
rain and possible tornados for the evening.
it is slowly getting dark outside and i can feel
a silent tension in the stillness of the trees.
and by the evening,
nothing happened, slowly the air cleared up,
sun shined through and the bright yellow light
torched the western slops of the maple trees.
the stillness of the sap green leaves showed
an ecstatic presence of the 'now'

then i noticed in front of me,
the contour of the water pitcher on the table
has a transparent nothingness around it!
the highlight on its edges is incredibly silent.
the pitcher is just there on the table, still as it is;
in its mundane presence as a concrete object,
exits with its wholeness and completeness.


photo: 'water pitcher as it is' /©2007.sebastian

v i e w s

one:

the planet is warming up. there is a war going on. people hate each other. children are dying. left hand is getting chopped by ourown right hand. everything is doomed. life is going to be over soon. we are using modern science in the wrong way. we are destroying the planet. who is going to turn all these around? where is the savior? don’t we have to do something right now?

two:

this had happened before too. what about the world wars one and two? how about the plague that killed millions? many other atrocities in history had killed a lot of people. what happened to dinosaurs? don’t we have better medicines now? we are knowing about all these in real-time all over the world. that is why it is disturbing. do not pay attention to media news. out of sight, out of mind. see? it is not there anymore.

three:

god does all these. just trust him. but believe only in my god. he is the real one. other’s god is fake. they are lost in darkness. i need to tell them this and make them bring back to my god by using all my powers. this is my duty. i am the messenger and the warrior of god.

four:

eat, drink and be merry. for tomorrow we may die. everyone is lying. only truth is sensual pleasures. enjoy when you can. do whatever makes you happy. who cares about the consequences? all will die anyway.

five:

nothing is happening as such. everything is a dance of molecules. everything changes into something else. energy is changing into matter. or matter and energy are the same in time. space and time exists relatively. we humans are limited to our sensory perception. but there is the rest of the reality which we do not feel or know.

there are more frames of references and many various permutations of all of the above mentioned views...

if there is an absolute truth about life on this planet, it has to be beyond all points of views, which integrates, encompasses and transcends all these verbalizations.

“everything out there is wholesome and complete
everything in here is also wholesome and complete
the whole emerges out of the whole
if we take away the whole from the whole,
remaining will also will be wholesome and complete.”

-upanishad

photo collage: 'half empty-half full' ' ©2007.sebastian

m i s t y

the flame still shimmers
lights the sky inside a bit
wind swirls high above
the valley turns misty
i see a bus in a distance


photo: lovedale valley, ooty, india /©2006.sebastian

d o u b t s

saw a movie called 'secrets'.
its a kind of 'new age'y, but
the message has some truth in it.
when we are focused on the positive,
and work consistently towards a goal,
the whole system synchronizes with us.
if one doubts about this universal truth,
that doubt will get more attention
and it works as a resistance.
(“what resists will persist” -carl jung.)
even when one wants good things to happen,
more attention is given to the negative.
anything one gives attention to, will grow.
so the obstacles start showing up and
it strengthens the doubts further more.
then the mind gets attached to it
and even when good things happen,
one is not comfortable accepting it.
soon this becomes a habit pattern.
egoic mind has many devices like these
to bring more misery and suffering.

photo: paddy fields in china(download)

r e l a t i o n s h i p

relation’ship’ sets out its journey
with a lot of high expectations.
it enters high waves of the rough seas
and even explores uncharted waters.
it is a pleasure trip and a ghost ship at once.
it reveals some demons and exorcises some,
and along the way creates some too.
relationship helps mirror each other.
it reflects the good, the bad and the ugly.
then the other gets blamed most of the time,
for showing the grotesque unexpectedly;
in reality, it was already there before.
but without in 'relation' to this old ‘ship’,
the journey does not exist at all.

photo: 'the journey' /2007©sebastian

w h i t e . n o i s e

if everyone could sit somewhere still,
take a deep breath, relax and do nothing,
lot of balance will happen in a natural way.
i know people who need some background noise
to feel relaxed. some can not sleep without
the 'white noise' of blank tv on, in the bedroom.
some hate silence when others love it.
what an interesting contradiction it is!
most of our daily activites are just to
create a distraction from facing ourselves.

photo: pebbles /sebastian©2007

r i v e r . p a l u x y

this is the view of paluxy river, texas. it runs through dinosaur Valley, a 1600 acre national forest. the excavations proved that there were real dinosaurs here. obviously they found the fossils and such. the arial view of this small river is simple and serene and it almost has the similar feel of chakki river in himachal pradesh, india. the soil and the color and texture of rocks feel the same and the landscape around is similar too. missing element is the distant view of the mountain range which is not there in texas. years ago, i remember one afternoon, seeing a group of vultures devouring the body of a cow in the banks of chakki finishing it within minutes up-to its bones and flying away quickly. it was a surreal scene. there were a lot of vultures around during that fall season. chakki drains the south-western part of himachal pradesh. the river rises as a small snow-fed and rain fed stream from the southern slopes of the dhauladhar himalayan range. it enters punjab near pathankot and joins the beas river.


photo: paluxy river, dinosaur Valley, texas / ©2007.sebastian

r i v e r . b e d

the river bed. richness of the delta.
smell of wet soil after the first rain.
this memory is embedded in us for centuries.
a farmer in oklahoma or in india feels
the same pulse of the basic elements.
but urban life has changed too much that
many of us are far removed from a chance to feel the soil.
one does not connect with it now, if at all one touches it.
subtle cell memories from centuries are not evoked
as we are removed from our basic elements.
children playing in the mud is very rare today.
we have an insulated life with daily routines,
which makes us less imaginative, i think.

photo: 'river bed' /texas/ ©2007.sebastian

i t c h . s l i t

snake song

i am itching for a new skin today
and i can feel the old one slacking off...
i see many around with smooth and silky ones
and i feel its time for me to have a new one.
all i need is a narrow slit to slither through
or a sharp edge to hook on the old skin to...
i am sure i can find one around the corner.
there is enough edginess out there;
if you know what i mean.

photo: 'four pillars' ©2007.sebastian

f i r s t . f l o w e r

the first flower

millions of years ago,
one ordinary morning,
the planet felt so bored and
arrived at a 'now what?' moment
'i am going to bloom in the next spin!'
she thought, and did exactly that;
with an explosion of vibrant colors
the whole planet was enlightened!


photo: 'lotus of ooty' /india/©2006.sebastian

p e r s p e c t i v e

angle, aspect, broad view, context, mindset, attitude, mindtrip, objectivity, outlook, overview, panorama, proportion, prospect, relation, objective perception, relative importance, relativity, scape, scene, viewpoint, vista.

photo: "human-made lakes" ©2007.sebastian

b o d h i . t r e e

this is a peepal tree i noticed on the way to mysore from kerala, india. even when there is no breeze, its beautiful leaves spin and attract your attention and invite you into the shade. and not only do the leaves send down currents of cool air, but their long slender tips are also constantly striking together to make a sound like the pattering of raindrops. best place to sit under and contemplate. no other tree has a leaf which tapers to such a perfect point as the peepal. when it rains, you can see the water drip from the points. water runs off more easily from a point than from a blunt end, and the sooner a leaf dries the better it is for the tree. to cut a peepal tree was once looked upon as a great sin in india. on the other hand, anyone who planted a peepal was said to receive the blessings of generations to come.

photo: india.sebastian©2007

r a p t u r e

is this the day of the so called 'rapture' ?
sky is coming down like a wet blanket.
clouds are clashing and the wind is roaring loud
dust spreads into the plains like an angry mob
smell of burning sulphur is in the air
darkness flows into the valley like black lava.
is everything going to be crumbled down?
is this the dark night of the soul?



photo:- sebastian©2007

e n e r g y . m a t t e r s

once a friend showed me how matter is
transformed into energy by drinking a glass of water
"matter became energy", he said.
but, does this knowledge and information
on matter or energy matter? it may, i guess.
but i liked his simple way of presenting it.
materiality is ‘reality of the matter’
synergy is ‘synchronization of energy’

now, all the seriousness of life aside,
here is a joke i heard over the radio:
what did the elephant said to the naked man?
"its cute and all,
but can you breath through that thing?"

l a y e r s

watched the documentary called ‘the inconvenient truth’.
this is about global warming and how human intervention like greenhouse gas emission is screwing up our planet life. impressive presentation by former vise president al gore. in one scene it showed that scientists can find out the exact temperature, the air quality and such of each year in the past, by analyzing the layers of arctic ice which is frozen for centuries. just like going back in time. similar to carbon 14 test on the fossils. like studying the circles of the ‘year rings’ we see in the cross section of an old tree trunk. these 're embedded secret codes. very interesting.
that reminded me of the different layers of our mind. pain and pleasure memories. the imprints they leave in our brain. the scars of childhood abandonment every one talks about. memories of shame and victimizations. pleasant ones as well. anything that made a deep impact; we are that. all our analysis and judgments are colored by those layers. like an eye can not see the same eye through which one looks, we can not see them clrealy; or can we, if we develop some new faculties?
when i got my name at first and from the moment i started attaching my ‘self’ to it, these layers got started building up. memories, recreated identifications and the ‘identity’ and ‘personality’ that i have built up, thinking that,
‘i am this, i am that, i am a son, a student, a man, and so on...”
and still keep adding by filling my’self’ with something more.
but am i just any of these; limiting myself by just naming myself?
or am i all these and at the same time, something beyond?
WHO AM I REALLY?


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photo: 'fossile' / north texas /sebastian©2007