p r o j e c t i o n s

Most of the time it is not the outside reality that determines my experiences; what 's inside me matters more. It is as if I am projecting it outward. My responses to situations matter. The feedback of the world will depend on it. I am like a projector and a movie camera combined, observing and projecting at the same time. The imprints inside basically determine the story of the movie. My observation is also based on my bio-wiring as I have a certain learned way of seeing. Ultimately I am responsible for the feedback.

Destiny & free will

Destiny or free will?

Which is more prominent?

Which is really at play?

This the question of the day.

Most of us who believe in hard work think it is our free will that shapes up our destiny. We can not stay back and let the destiny take care of things; that 's fatalism. But even after all the toil, behind all the twists and turns in life, one feels a pattern of destiny inter-woven into our application of free will. No matter how hard we try, certain things happen in its own pace with its own outcome. In truth, nobody has the crystal ball to foresee the future.

In quantum theory there is the possibility of many universes existing at the same time. So when I think that there is free will at work, there is another me in another dimension making another choice and acting upon it! I feel it is weird to think that multiple copies of me running around at the same time! Then again, it is quantum physics.

The neurologist V. S. Ramachandran (UCLA, California) talks about an experiment. He asked a person to wiggle his finger at any time he wished. To wiggle the finger it takes two steps; first decide it and then wiggle. The study on the brain waves during this process showed that the sensation when you asked your finger to wiggle came after a second your brain kicked in. Even though you think that you are willing to wiggle, it is your brain that is willing you to will! So the brain is responding ahead of your will and yours is a post-rationalization! This shows that free will is a questionable concept. Rather biological hardwiring is more at work here!

Does this mean that the secret code of destiny is embedded in our brain already?

According to Ramana Maharshi, both are applicable only to the ego which is not our real self. As everything is manifestations of SELF, there is no relevance to the concepts of destiny or free will. The only purpose of life is to be one with the absolute by abiding in the self always. His suggestion is self inquiry and find out to whom destiny and free will are supposed to be relevant to. Thus the only question to ponder over is 'who am I?' Then both will get transcended.

A pretty radical position indeed.

graphics: "pathway" /sebastian©2009

a u t o . p i l o t

My dog Leia dislikes squirrels. Her tail jumps up and the hairs on her back stand up when she sees one. I always wonder about this reaction and it still intrigues me how we too feel uncomfortable around some people without any apparent reason. On the other hand, when we're with some other beings, everything falls in place, we feel at ease and sometimes even just the memory of them or a phone call will bring the same positivity into the day. There are subtle things which trigger these kinds of rearrangements in our daily life in which we are also co-creaters, I guess. Our reactions and responses determine the feel of the next moment. A continuation of these quality moments leads to a major shift which triggers the next chain of positive events.

Leia is reacting as if on 'auto-pilot'. Is it possible for us to respond against our biology? Another way of responding to the same situation may launch us into a totally different trajectory.

photo: 'leia' /2007©sebastian

Memory Trail

Memory is a funny thing.

It mixes up the real and the unreal

and it changes each time I recall.

Was it really happened, I wonder.

I think people die and resurrect

within this same life, many times.

As the space changes, time changes.

But memories don't go away.

The smell of fresh cut grass

and the fragrance of wet soil after the new rain,

all bring memories of intimate spaces,

are they from the past life or this one?

Memories of all my mothers of past lives,

and all my brothers, lovers and sisters...

A gentle presence of a lost friend,

a distant call of my ancient names.

Have I stayed in that hotel room and slept tired,

when I was my own great great grand father

Does that oak tree recognize me now

That mountain, the river and the lake?

All have that familiar look in their eyes.

I feel all of us are dancing in a time warp

or in the whirlpool of a timeless soup!

It is raining heavily here, all day and all night

and I feel like melting into the wet soil.

photo: 'september rain' /wyanad, kerala/ sebastian©2009.