c a t h e d r a l s

even if modern cathedrals like high rises, elevators
and other new urban designs are more utilitarian in concept,
some of them are real architectural marvels i think;
at the same time melancholic compared to an old cathedral.

photo: elevator /dfw airport /2007©sebastian
________________________________________________
Rouen Cathedral is located west by northwest of Paris. He painted more than thirty works of Rouen Cathedral. Monet creates a whole new way to look at the front elevation. His subject was light more than anything. He painted during different seasons and different times of day, allowing him to create many unique paintings of the same place.


ref: google images /Rouen Cathedral: Full Sunlight, 1894 Claude Monet

ps: I remember in the fall of 1993 when I stepped into New York Metropolitan's Monet room, how excited I was and how long I stared at his works. I could smell his cigar just above my shoulders as if he was standing close to me. The painted surface brought me in such a strong presence of the artist. Now whenever I see a four color print of monet around a shopping mall or so, I feel the originals are being devalued. Monet is not there on a print. But at the same time it takes away something from the originals when a print is just hanging over a mundane furniture store. My point is, over saturation of these prints of the masters makes me desensitized towards impressionism. May be that is what time does.

d o o r . w i t h i n . t h e . d o o r

there is an unseen door within every door
and there is an unnamable self within oneself
there is a still body within this moving body
and everybody will find their own silence within.
all the waves are more than just water
for the sea carries an ocean inside.
and by the way, it is possible that
a salamander may be hiding within every crocodile!

photo: "door within" ©sebastian.2007

a t . t h e . c o u n t e r

the world inside is recreated outside
for the word inside is acted upon.
a mold inside is to be broken
to pull out the sting and get over it.


photo: 'at the counter' /dfw airport /summer of 2007©sebastian

b a l a n c e

greeks never had obituaries describing the greatness of the dead.
they asked whether the person had a 'passion' when s/he was alive.
it really doesn't matter what we do, art or non-art;
as long as we do it with awareness of our whole being
whether it is singing, dancing or doing dishes
or just floating in the water like a buffalo
with a bird balanced on its head!


photo: 'buffalo balance' india/ 2007©sebastian

r o c k s & t r e e s

i am not a tree hugger
but i like them to be around
i am not very much into rocks either
but their mighty presence everywhere,
the weather-beaten texture and deep colors,
and the sculptural form of them, is intriguing
their straightforwardness is fascinating.

i am not into anything unusual if you ask me,
but some things are not that usual
when we look at them one more time;
which makes me wonder about
our accepted ways of seeing...


photo: ©2007.sebastian

m a n y . p a t h s

coincidences are random occurrences of events.
but are they really random incidents as we think ?
there is a pattern in which these events happen

especially when we are in the presence of certain people

or at particular places at a certain time.
why am i feeling a certain space so familiar,

including the things there in detail,

as if i was there in the past even when i haven't in reality?

is 'DeJa-Vu' real, or just being delutional?
was i supposed to bump into that perfect stranger?
why is this particular person still in my daily life?
other one you are attracted to at the first glance,
just disappears around the corner, forever.

if everything is predestined to happen, where is the free will?
what are the invisible forces here working beyond our perception?
destiny or free will; which is at function here? or are both real?
is there more than one path we take simultaneously in this life?
are we really going anywhere? who is the traveller here?

or can we do things on autopilot with a 'just do it' attitude,
with a world view of 'go with the flow, go with our instincts'
without being bothered by any of these questions?
may be this too is not a choice, but destiny!



photo montage: 'paths' ©2007.sebastian

t o u c h

heavy-handedness will not work on
the strings with tuned tension...





photo: 'the touch' ©2007.sebastian

w a n i n g . c a b b a g e

cutting red cabbage to cook
waning of the april moon
the finger pointing towards it
wisdom of the red cabbage


photo: 'waning cabbage' /©2007.sebastian

b r e a t h e . i n . b r e a t h e . o u t

breathe in, breathe out

the new exhibit at decorazon gallery, oak cliff, texas, titled ‘breathe in, breathe out’
of my friends ali akbar and sara cardona is a remarkable one.

exploring both large and small scale paintings, ali akbar, utilizes texture a lot. its the toil of excavation he is into. i like his works very much because he kind of pushes his limit as an inventor and struggles through it. one can feel the result at the time of his journey. the end result is many poetic surfaces. i love the piece called the 'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas. here he has recreated the residual memories of southine's painterliness and his distant presence as a unique artist and at the same time a minimal take on the subject to show a new interpretation is possible.
ali is a native of dhaka, bangladesh, and has exhibited extensively in his homeland as well as in the united states. he is a graduate of southeastern oklahoma state university and dhaka university, and recently attended a fellowship residency program at the vermont studio center.

'Homage to Soutine' – Mixed media on canvas


sara cardona is an artist who reminds me of a lovable frida khalo who does collages.
in both collage and painting, sara develops portraits of characters from fiction, theater, and history. utilizing embroidery, craft material associated with theater, and a poetic sensibility, a multitude of personas are created, each with a possible narrative. sara cardona is a graduate of the univ. of texas in austin and has an mfa from the tyler school of art in philadelphia, pa.

Margarita - Mixed media on paper

both artists currently reside in dallas, texas.

s p i r i t . v a l l e y

when the sun floods into the valley and above
blades of grass blaze like red hot swords
dust in front sparkles at times like fireflies
the aura around the trees wash them layer by layer
spaced out between the rising sun and valley’s edge
trees stand out like pillars of fire along the ridge
space far away glows outside the depth of field
forms show up as color blobs with blurry contours
move in and out of focus, intersect and reconstruct
the colors move up and down, slow and smoky
and the adjoined edges become curvy and cozy
all fuse into one complete whole and slowly dissolve
morning passes soon to the mundane of the noon.

______________________________________________
all the death and destruction humans bring on themselves
prove 'loving compassion' remains as the most relevant value
which is still the answer to reduce human suffering.

"certain pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is optional"

photo collage: ©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p e o p l e

in harry potter stories there are characters living under water like mermaids and such. as it is a fantasy tale, the imagination is limitless. but in real life, i think there are people with fluid inner landscape like water, because they grew up in places like backwaters, islands, and other water front areas. such people are more adaptable to new situations as they are used to everything that is fluid and temporaray. this makes them more competitive and resilient. but they could be unstable and more insecure also, which will reflect in their relationships and choices they make. i think the landscape one assimilates in an earlier age becomes the natural terrain-base for one’s mindscape.

is a desert person similar to a water person but more dry and tough? will a mountain person have better stability like a mountain? but is it difficult for a mountain person to adapt to change? is a jungle person similar to a mountain person?

now, in our modern urban places, each city creates its own psyche, i think. but in general, a person who grew up in a typical crowded city will not have the same connectedness to ones immediate environment as others. city-life is so mobile and almost as fluid as the ‘water’ life, but with more anonymity and with a kind of (false?)secure feeling most of the time.


photo: 'water psyche' /lake ray roberts.texas /©2007.sebastian

w a t e r . p i t c h e r

weather channel has predicted thunderstorms,
rain and possible tornados for the evening.
it is slowly getting dark outside and i can feel
a silent tension in the stillness of the trees.
and by the evening,
nothing happened, slowly the air cleared up,
sun shined through and the bright yellow light
torched the western slops of the maple trees.
the stillness of the sap green leaves showed
an ecstatic presence of the 'now'

then i noticed in front of me,
the contour of the water pitcher on the table
has a transparent nothingness around it!
the highlight on its edges is incredibly silent.
the pitcher is just there on the table, still as it is;
in its mundane presence as a concrete object,
exits with its wholeness and completeness.


photo: 'water pitcher as it is' /©2007.sebastian

v i e w s

one:

the planet is warming up. there is a war going on. people hate each other. children are dying. left hand is getting chopped by ourown right hand. everything is doomed. life is going to be over soon. we are using modern science in the wrong way. we are destroying the planet. who is going to turn all these around? where is the savior? don’t we have to do something right now?

two:

this had happened before too. what about the world wars one and two? how about the plague that killed millions? many other atrocities in history had killed a lot of people. what happened to dinosaurs? don’t we have better medicines now? we are knowing about all these in real-time all over the world. that is why it is disturbing. do not pay attention to media news. out of sight, out of mind. see? it is not there anymore.

three:

god does all these. just trust him. but believe only in my god. he is the real one. other’s god is fake. they are lost in darkness. i need to tell them this and make them bring back to my god by using all my powers. this is my duty. i am the messenger and the warrior of god.

four:

eat, drink and be merry. for tomorrow we may die. everyone is lying. only truth is sensual pleasures. enjoy when you can. do whatever makes you happy. who cares about the consequences? all will die anyway.

five:

nothing is happening as such. everything is a dance of molecules. everything changes into something else. energy is changing into matter. or matter and energy are the same in time. space and time exists relatively. we humans are limited to our sensory perception. but there is the rest of the reality which we do not feel or know.

there are more frames of references and many various permutations of all of the above mentioned views...

if there is an absolute truth about life on this planet, it has to be beyond all points of views, which integrates, encompasses and transcends all these verbalizations.

“everything out there is wholesome and complete
everything in here is also wholesome and complete
the whole emerges out of the whole
if we take away the whole from the whole,
remaining will also will be wholesome and complete.”

-upanishad

photo collage: 'half empty-half full' ' ©2007.sebastian

m i s t y

the flame still shimmers
lights the sky inside a bit
wind swirls high above
the valley turns misty
i see a bus in a distance


photo: lovedale valley, ooty, india /©2006.sebastian

d o u b t s

saw a movie called 'secrets'.
its a kind of 'new age'y, but
the message has some truth in it.
when we are focused on the positive,
and work consistently towards a goal,
the whole system synchronizes with us.
if one doubts about this universal truth,
that doubt will get more attention
and it works as a resistance.
(“what resists will persist” -carl jung.)
even when one wants good things to happen,
more attention is given to the negative.
anything one gives attention to, will grow.
so the obstacles start showing up and
it strengthens the doubts further more.
then the mind gets attached to it
and even when good things happen,
one is not comfortable accepting it.
soon this becomes a habit pattern.
egoic mind has many devices like these
to bring more misery and suffering.

photo: paddy fields in china(download)

r e l a t i o n s h i p

relation’ship’ sets out its journey
with a lot of high expectations.
it enters high waves of the rough seas
and even explores uncharted waters.
it is a pleasure trip and a ghost ship at once.
it reveals some demons and exorcises some,
and along the way creates some too.
relationship helps mirror each other.
it reflects the good, the bad and the ugly.
then the other gets blamed most of the time,
for showing the grotesque unexpectedly;
in reality, it was already there before.
but without in 'relation' to this old ‘ship’,
the journey does not exist at all.

photo: 'the journey' /2007©sebastian

w h i t e . n o i s e

if everyone could sit somewhere still,
take a deep breath, relax and do nothing,
lot of balance will happen in a natural way.
i know people who need some background noise
to feel relaxed. some can not sleep without
the 'white noise' of blank tv on, in the bedroom.
some hate silence when others love it.
what an interesting contradiction it is!
most of our daily activites are just to
create a distraction from facing ourselves.

photo: pebbles /sebastian©2007

r i v e r . p a l u x y

this is the view of paluxy river, texas. it runs through dinosaur Valley, a 1600 acre national forest. the excavations proved that there were real dinosaurs here. obviously they found the fossils and such. the arial view of this small river is simple and serene and it almost has the similar feel of chakki river in himachal pradesh, india. the soil and the color and texture of rocks feel the same and the landscape around is similar too. missing element is the distant view of the mountain range which is not there in texas. years ago, i remember one afternoon, seeing a group of vultures devouring the body of a cow in the banks of chakki finishing it within minutes up-to its bones and flying away quickly. it was a surreal scene. there were a lot of vultures around during that fall season. chakki drains the south-western part of himachal pradesh. the river rises as a small snow-fed and rain fed stream from the southern slopes of the dhauladhar himalayan range. it enters punjab near pathankot and joins the beas river.


photo: paluxy river, dinosaur Valley, texas / ©2007.sebastian

r i v e r . b e d

the river bed. richness of the delta.
smell of wet soil after the first rain.
this memory is embedded in us for centuries.
a farmer in oklahoma or in india feels
the same pulse of the basic elements.
but urban life has changed too much that
many of us are far removed from a chance to feel the soil.
one does not connect with it now, if at all one touches it.
subtle cell memories from centuries are not evoked
as we are removed from our basic elements.
children playing in the mud is very rare today.
we have an insulated life with daily routines,
which makes us less imaginative, i think.

photo: 'river bed' /texas/ ©2007.sebastian

i t c h . s l i t

snake song

i am itching for a new skin today
and i can feel the old one slacking off...
i see many around with smooth and silky ones
and i feel its time for me to have a new one.
all i need is a narrow slit to slither through
or a sharp edge to hook on the old skin to...
i am sure i can find one around the corner.
there is enough edginess out there;
if you know what i mean.

photo: 'four pillars' ©2007.sebastian

f i r s t . f l o w e r

the first flower

millions of years ago,
one ordinary morning,
the planet felt so bored and
arrived at a 'now what?' moment
'i am going to bloom in the next spin!'
she thought, and did exactly that;
with an explosion of vibrant colors
the whole planet was enlightened!


photo: 'lotus of ooty' /india/©2006.sebastian

p e r s p e c t i v e

angle, aspect, broad view, context, mindset, attitude, mindtrip, objectivity, outlook, overview, panorama, proportion, prospect, relation, objective perception, relative importance, relativity, scape, scene, viewpoint, vista.

photo: "human-made lakes" ©2007.sebastian

b o d h i . t r e e

this is a peepal tree i noticed on the way to mysore from kerala, india. even when there is no breeze, its beautiful leaves spin and attract your attention and invite you into the shade. and not only do the leaves send down currents of cool air, but their long slender tips are also constantly striking together to make a sound like the pattering of raindrops. best place to sit under and contemplate. no other tree has a leaf which tapers to such a perfect point as the peepal. when it rains, you can see the water drip from the points. water runs off more easily from a point than from a blunt end, and the sooner a leaf dries the better it is for the tree. to cut a peepal tree was once looked upon as a great sin in india. on the other hand, anyone who planted a peepal was said to receive the blessings of generations to come.

photo: india.sebastian©2007

r a p t u r e

is this the day of the so called 'rapture' ?
sky is coming down like a wet blanket.
clouds are clashing and the wind is roaring loud
dust spreads into the plains like an angry mob
smell of burning sulphur is in the air
darkness flows into the valley like black lava.
is everything going to be crumbled down?
is this the dark night of the soul?



photo:- sebastian©2007

e n e r g y . m a t t e r s

once a friend showed me how matter is
transformed into energy by drinking a glass of water
"matter became energy", he said.
but, does this knowledge and information
on matter or energy matter? it may, i guess.
but i liked his simple way of presenting it.
materiality is ‘reality of the matter’
synergy is ‘synchronization of energy’

now, all the seriousness of life aside,
here is a joke i heard over the radio:
what did the elephant said to the naked man?
"its cute and all,
but can you breath through that thing?"

l a y e r s

watched the documentary called ‘the inconvenient truth’.
this is about global warming and how human intervention like greenhouse gas emission is screwing up our planet life. impressive presentation by former vise president al gore. in one scene it showed that scientists can find out the exact temperature, the air quality and such of each year in the past, by analyzing the layers of arctic ice which is frozen for centuries. just like going back in time. similar to carbon 14 test on the fossils. like studying the circles of the ‘year rings’ we see in the cross section of an old tree trunk. these 're embedded secret codes. very interesting.
that reminded me of the different layers of our mind. pain and pleasure memories. the imprints they leave in our brain. the scars of childhood abandonment every one talks about. memories of shame and victimizations. pleasant ones as well. anything that made a deep impact; we are that. all our analysis and judgments are colored by those layers. like an eye can not see the same eye through which one looks, we can not see them clrealy; or can we, if we develop some new faculties?
when i got my name at first and from the moment i started attaching my ‘self’ to it, these layers got started building up. memories, recreated identifications and the ‘identity’ and ‘personality’ that i have built up, thinking that,
‘i am this, i am that, i am a son, a student, a man, and so on...”
and still keep adding by filling my’self’ with something more.
but am i just any of these; limiting myself by just naming myself?
or am i all these and at the same time, something beyond?
WHO AM I REALLY?


__________________________________
photo: 'fossile' / north texas /sebastian©2007

f e a r . o f . f l y i n g

i am always afraid of flying. it doesn’t feel right.
Penetrating the sky in a heavy aluminum tube sounds eerie.
not as simple as an earthworm’s journey under the soil.
it takes some time for me to be comfortable in my seat.
i transport myself into one of dali' s paintings sometimes,
and just trust the technology and believe in the unknown.

i remember my early flying experiences.
the magical memory of flying over mount renoir
the surreal castles of clouds near and far, up and down,
i remember vividly, flying over arabian sands, distant oasises,
waves of dry mountains and the endless blue of the pacific,
once, in london seeing the rain over the buckingham palace.
a shrap memory of a tiny cruiser blazing across the atlantic blue.
my first flight over manhattan was on a saturday night years ago
and it felt like i was in the movie ‘blade runner’
i like the window seat and its coziness
clouds dance deep down in a different time lapse,
i can see the dusty wind over the vast plains,
and the dreamy mist over the mississippi delta
visuals fill my face with high spirit and warmth
i am always afraid of flying, but i kind of love it...

i think we all get this humble feeling of smallness,
when we look down at humans, my own species,
totally lost between the foldings down below, restless like ants,
our wars, petty problems and conflicts...love, as well...
in a way, flying changes one's perspective for ever.
i am always afraid of flying, then agian, who isn't?

a l c h e m i s t

i took this picture in karnataka, india. i was moved by the similarity of the scene to the premise of the book 'the alchemist' by the brazilian novelist, paulo coelho. it is the story of santiago, a young shepherd. in his magical journey in search of a treasure, from spain to egyptian desert, he meets this alchemist and the story goes on with the journey...
a beautiful book. small but an intimate story about destiny, love and the meaning of it all.

interestingly enough, the copy of the book, which i got from the local library, had a hand written note from a previous reader.
its mysterious to get a message in a book.. it carries a mild melancholy and sense of loss too because one always likes to meet a person like that but misses the chance...

the note read like this;
"the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream because every second of the search is an encounter with god and destiny. the closer one gets to realizing his destiny, the more that destiny becomes his true reason for living."

________________________________________________________
photo: "santiago in india" karnataka, india / dec. 2006©sebastian

w e t . l i g h t

street. red light. stop.
rain. stop. fog light. breath.
think. dream. cloudy thoughts.
fog. wet light. stop. think.
wet street. light. reflect.
cloudy street. wet sky. stop.
slippery. stop. wet air. red light.
_________________________________________
photo: "wet street" /texas.sebastian©2006

l a r g e s t . p i c t u r e

people with integrity, naturally help to integrate;
ideas, situations, people encounters and conflicts.
one who has a split inside, accepts and rejects at the same time,
fragmented inside, causes disintegration;
likes to create chaos. inside manifests outside.

wise says, seeing the LARGER PICTURE,
both sides balance ultimately;
the whole thing is just a play.
but the PICTURE has to be really large, i guess,
the maximum possible one can imagine!
__________________________________________
photo: "the middle path" - floating buffalos
way to mysore, india /dec.2006©sebastian

s i s y p h u s . f i s h i n g

i saw a man fishing at the lake last sunday. as i was watching, he got a fairly big fish. he released it from the hook and let it go back to the lake at once. i realized that his way of fishing was just symbolic. 'fishing for fishing's sake'! he was not a serious fisherman, but a compassionate one!

but the young fish had a traumatic experience for a couple of minutes, which had made an imprint in its brain. a near death experience! rest of its life was going to be affected by it. its arousal mechanism was burned out by the extreme nature of this trauma. the threshold was crossed and the pleasure center had been affected by this. now on, it had to re-enact the same scenario to feel any pleasure again. seeds of attraction towards the ‘bad and the reckless’ behavior were planted. thus the possibility of one more aspiring 'misfit fish' was established.

for the man this was a time to get away from his household duties and sit in quietude with his beer and contemplate the whole morning. once in a while to break the silence, a fish will eat the bait for him to act upon and get into a moment of mild excitement. again he goes back to the stillness of the lake and the silence of the morning.

anything man does has a futility embedded in it. as death is real and life seems to be very short, humans do a lot of things to make some sense out of this absurdity; to be relevant. in the myth of sisyphus, as a punishment for his bad deeds, sisyphus is forced to roll a block of stone against a steep hill, which tumbles back down when he reaches the top. then the whole process starts again, lasting all eternity. his punishment was depicted on many Greek vases. he is represented as a naked man, or wearing a fur over his shoulders, pushing a boulder. interestingly enough, there is this exact legend in kerala(south india) folklore, the 'crazy naranath' does the same thing not as a curse, but as a daily routine. he laughs his hearts off as the stone tumbles down the hill! he does the same over again. here it is a funny thing he does to show the absurdity of all human endeavors. in another story, when the goddess kali appeared before naranath and asked for a wish, he said that if she was very particular about granting one, she could transfer the elephantitis on his left leg to the right one! dispassion of an absolutist!

photo: lake ray roberts / texas/ sebastian©2007

r e d . b e n c h

the red bench had a tall cement fence behind it.
cement chairs at indian rail-stations have long history.
the fence is conceptual and rather symbolic so to speak.
it is broken many places before the gate where you can get in and out.
like the gate of mulla nasaruddhin without the walls around it.
apparently indian railway has a sense of zen, I guess.

photo: tirur railway station, kerala, india. dec.sebastian©2006

i d e a . d o m a i n s

thoughts flicker and shimmer like fireflies,
a meadow studded with fluorescent jades.
domains of ideas are already out there;
we just pass through them.
some click and some don't.

darkness recedes into the twilight valley
and the wind spreads it further down.
too much oil in the lamp chokes the flame;
just enough to burn, works fine.


photo: lake ray roberts /north texas /©2007

a b s e n c e . o f . t h e . w i s e

when the wise hesitates to tell the truth out in the open; the manipulator gets on the stage and creates a facade. impostors politic the media and a parallel reality is created in the collective consciousness, which is reinforced every day. the play continues and it has taken a life of its own, like that of frankenstein. there is this element of automation functioning as a third factor. nobody seems to have much control over this. money and power lead the game. but the true perception of reality is rather that of a lonely observer. there is a mystery; there is the ecstasy and there is the surprise.

t h e . o t h e r s i d e

one who stands upside down sees the underbelly.
an illusionist uses the mysterious side of the mundane.
the visionary sees through the fog screen in front of reality.
the image-maker de/reconstructs and transports us to a new world.

if everyone in this planet is an organizer and a conformist,
it would have been in the shape of a cube, not a sphere, for sure.

__________________________________________________
photo: just before my landing in new york city /jan.2007©

d a w n . t e x a s

photo: dawn / irving park/ texas©2007

f i r s t . b l u s h

silent stillness of the first blush
it's always a new show at the daybreak
why does the western sky blush
at the peep of sun in the east...
__________________________________
photo - malibu beach / aug.2006©

w a r m . d r u m

the drum-skin is still warm from playing all night.
the bamboo flute still has the residue of that old song.
this tea house still has the fragrance of an ancient courtship.
memories left here are like seasoned wine; sweet and sour.
closed window brings the muffled whisper of the bamboo leaves
and are you still sleeping in that shade?
_____________________________________________________
photo: 'tea house' .japanese garden.fort worth.texas.feb.©2007

n e w . r i c h

new rich, new rules
new cars, new attitude
new houses, new fences
new faces, new frowns too!
new cloths, new emperors
new city for the new rich!

___________________________________________________________
photo: 'the machinist' .Chelsea.New York.Jan.©2007

i n . b e t w e e n

words are less than thoughts
the ‘in between’ of words are
more true to the original thought.
images are more than words.
the 'in between' images makes more sense.
even images can not say the exact ‘in between’ of two thoughts
for thoughts arise from the other side of words and images.


photo: lake ray roberts /texas /sebastian©2007

p a s s i o n

mighty presence of the trains.
intense receptivity of the iron tracks.
as they are linked and departed in junctions,
destiny is in their crisscrossed directions.
they run with a power of passion
and can not be stopped quickly.

c l u s t e r . s e r i e s . 7

'cluster series 7' watercolor / 10.mar.2007© / 12" x 16"

cluster
pile, lump, array, collection, lot, bunch,
set, gathering, batch, bevy, body, collection,
bundle, clump, pack, accumulation, aggregation,
association, band, assemblage, conclave, crowd,
gathering, group, huddle, multitude, mass...

l o c k e d

'locked' watercolor / 10.mar.2007 / 12" x 16"

confined. secured. protected.
restricted. bound. fastened.
closed. closed off. closed out.
caged. enslaved. ensnared. imprisoned.
in custody. incarcerated. incommunicado.
jailed. penned. subjugated. locked up.
locked. locked on. locked out.

c a b i n . f a n

'cabin fan' /watercolor /2007 /12" x 12"

s t u r d y

'sturdy' watercolor /2007 /12" x 14"

groundedness.
heavy feet and hands.
strong. sturdy. stocky ruggedness.
down to earthiness. rooted figures.
heavy machines. dense spaces. iron.
richard serra ‘s massive sculptures.
power of metallic space division.
tuned tension of a violin string.

c o n e . s p e a k e r s

'cone speakers' watercolor / 2007
(12" x 14")

c h a i r . v a r i a t i o n s

'chair variations' watercolor / 2007
(4 pieces; 12" x 14" each )

f o l d i n g s

f i r e . b u c k e t s

'fire buckets' watercolor on arches paper
02.mar.2007 / size: 30" x 23"

c h a n g e

thoughts change. they can not stay.
emotions change. they can not stay either.
body is aging moment by moment.
people and places are changing too.
time passes. or we pass through time.
i had a sense of myself since my early childhood;
and after all these years, when i am typing this,
have i changed my sense of self much? yes and no.
i went through many experiences that changed me.
but isn’t there a sense of 'self' that has not changed?
what is that unchanged core?
is that the real me?
i just wonder...